Seems Wrong

From Spudtoons

I bought a vegan friend a cookbook as a present.

Unfortunately, he said that he couldn't accept it as it was leather bound and was therefore too heavy for him to lift.

Snowball Gets Even

From OffTheMark

Pets only like us because they have Stockholm Syndrome.

Boys Get Flowers Too

From The Hec Comics

My wife has just phoned me to tell me that 3 women in her office have received flowers today and they are absolutely gorgeous.

I said, "That's probably why!"

Dangerous Game Hunter

From The Argyle Sweater

I bought a second-hand guitar from Adam Ant.

He quoted he fifty quid, but said for an extra tenner he’d throw in a stand and deliver.

Parenting Technique

From At Random Comics

My wife and I have decided that we don't want to have children.

We'll be telling them tonight over dinner.

Magic Carpet Warehouse

From Andertoons

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.

Face/On

From Faceless

It’s just dawned on me.

People are prisoners of their phones.

That’s why they’re called Cell Phones.