Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
Sharp shooter!
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert SaysReally? Ya think?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down JaywalkersNow that's taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes OverWhat a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death Good-for-nothing lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting DefendantSee if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for PeaceI can see how it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last AwhileYa think?
Cold Wave Linked to TemperaturesSurely not!
London Couple Slain; Police Suspect HomicideThey may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New BridgesYou mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery ChargeHe probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test GroupWeren't the last lot fat enough?
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in SpacecraftThat's what he gets for eating those beans!
Kids Make Nutritious SnacksDo they taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot DoctorsBoy, are they tall!
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
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