Public Hair

PMS should be called ovary-acting.

Outdated memes should be called memeries.

Volcanoes should be called mountain-fountains.

Hair on your head should be called public hair.

A driveway should be called a parkway, and a parkway should be called a driveway.

Fun size chocolate bars should be called sad size.

The roof of your mouth should be called the ceiling.

Bedrooms should be called restrooms.

Life jackets should be called float coats.

Fat people should be called skinny because they have more skin surface area.

Pregnant women should be called body builders.

Microwaveable bowls should be called microwave-a-bowls.

Small breasts should be called petits.

A group of squid should be called a squad.

Damaged goods should be called bads.

Haemorrhoids should be called asstroids.

Bras should be called booby traps.

The backs of knees should be called kneepits.