Wednesday 20 June 2018

Mobiles

I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up.

Why didn't the skeleton have a mobile? He had no body to talk to.

I got an SMS telling me that Rosberg would win this year's Formula One championship. Predictive texts drive me mad.

Fell asleep on my smartphone the other day. I had downloaded a nap.

What network is Luke Skywalker on? Yodafone.

What's the most popular network in Yorkshire? T'Mobile.

Why does Mr Potato Head have a mobile? In case Mr Onion Rings.

Put my phone into Airplane mode. What a rubbish transformer.

A friend of mine used to take his iron to his job at the telephone exchange. He was a smooth operator.

My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.

A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.

I can't picture myself without a camera phone.

Speeding along at 60, there was a buzz from my mobile on the dashboard. 
"Your phone just went," said my wife. 
"It's only a text," I replied. "I'll check it when we get there." 
She picked up the phone, and looked at it suspiciously. Then she tapped the screen, scrolled down and started reading. "I thought so," she sneered. "It's yet another crap joke from Dave about women being bad drivers." 
"Watch the road," I snapped. "You just ran a red light."

I said to my mate, "You should treat your girlfriend the same way you treat your cell phone."
He said, "What, take good care of her, and never lose her."

I said, "No, upgrade every couple of years."


Virus-free. www.avg.com

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