Elf On The Shelf

What do you call a house elf that edits documents?

A-Dobby.

Snowtograph

From Speedbump

During the Covid lockdown, if you had family round on Christmas Day, police could force entry to your home and make them go home.

Does anyone know if this service is still available, and if you have to book?

Mix Up

From Rhymes With Orange

Breaking News

Tampax have announced that they'll be replacing the strings with tinsel.

But, just for the Christmas period.

Seasons Greetings

From Four Eyes

My wife left me yesterday because she said I was too addicted to football.

I was devastated . . . I'd been with her for 12 seasons.

Glow Source

From OffTheMark

I need some advice here.

I've just been offered 8 legs of venison for £40.

Is that too dear?

Pets Playing Games

From OffTheMark

When single ladies get to the age of 50, they tend to get lots of dogs and cats.

This phenomenon is known as the many paws.

Googling Then and Now

From Chaz Hutton

Where does Google like to go for a drink?

To the search bar.