Robocat

From Rhymes With Orange

Him: "We should go out for a coffee sometime."

Her: "How about 10 tomorrow?"

Him: "No, that's too many, I'd never get to sleep afterwards."

Party Clothes

From Liniers Cartoon

I bought my friends an elephant for their room.

They said thank you.

I said don't mention it.

Flying High

From Bizarro

How do you turn a goose into a musician?

You boil it until it's Bill Withers.

Ransom Letter

From At Random Comics

Wife: Suppose you hit a jackpot of 1 million dollars in a lottery and the same day, someone kidnaps me and demands a ransom of 1 million dollars. What would you do?

Husband: That's a ridiculous scenario. What are the odds of getting two jackpots in one day!

Language, Graduates

From Speedbump

It's incredible how many French words are integrated in the English language…

There's 'Hors D'oeuvres' for starters!

Favourite

From Andertoons

Daughter: Can I keep the night light on?

Dad: And provide the monsters with a beacon to your location? Use your head sweetie.

It Has Been . . .

From Loose Parts

I saw a sign that said "Watch Batteries Fitted Here".

I gave it ten minutes but it was no fun whatsoever.