It's 'Round Here Somewhere

From Bliss

My son: Dad, I’ve lost my dictionary.

Me: Have you looked upstairs?

My son: Dad! I can’t look up anything.

All A-Bored

From Monster Picnic

Boss: This is the third time you've been late this week. Do you know what that means?

Me: It's Wednesday?

Intimate Examination

From Slipshod Squiggles

I walked into a fertility clinic.

The nurse said, "I can already tell what your problem is."

I said, "How?"

She said, "That was the back door".

Beached Body Ready

From Scott Metzger

Dating Problems - My Eyes Are . . .

From TheArgyleSweater

I went out for a winter walk this morning and found a box of frozen fish on the pavement.

I was going to hand it in to the police, but then decided it was a case of Findus Kippers!

Writer's Block

From Wrong Hands

I got kicked out of our Writers Block support group today

It made me really

What A Way To Make A Living

The 925 to Woking will be D Parton in 2 minutes

Dolly Parton Quotes:

"It costs a lot of money to look this cheap."

 

"I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb . . . and I also know that I’m not blonde."

 

"People always ask me how long it takes to do my hair.  I don’t know, I’m never there."