Christmas 2035

I seem to be addicted to cold turkey.

Does anyone know how I can stop?

Favourite Gift

From Speedbump

My wife bought me a bread making machine for Christmas.

So far, I've made a baguette, a bloomer and a tiger loaf.

I'm on a roll now.

Taking One For The Team

From Jon Adams / Cityclops

What did Adam say on the night before Christmas?

It's Christmas Eve.

Brrrr!

From JimBenton

Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose!

The Pounds Just Melt Off

From Reality Check

Banks need to get better at re-stocking their ATMs before Christmas.

This is the 5th one I've been to that has insufficient funds.

Elf On The Shelf

What do you call a house elf that edits documents?

A-Dobby.

Snowtograph

From Speedbump

During the Covid lockdown, if you had family round on Christmas Day, police could force entry to your home and make them go home.

Does anyone know if this service is still available, and if you have to book?