Halloween

It’s Halloween. Or as paedophiles call it, Christmas.

It’s Halloween. Just as it was exactly a year ago. On this very day. Spooky.

British Summer Time Ends

Yesterday I visited my dyslexic friend whom I caught rubbing black shoe polish on his peni s. I said, "You idiot, you're supposed to turn your clock back."

Did you hear about the dyslexic rock star?  He died after choking on his own Vimto.

Trust Me...I'm an Engineer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Barcelona 1984

Envy

Colour Wheel For Sailors

From GraphJam

Etiquette

More Realistic Superheros

Garlic Warning

For years doctors and scientists have told us that some foods are good for us, only for us to be told later that they bad for us.
Conversely they tell us that some foods are bad for us, and all the time they've been good for us.
There doesn't seem to be much proof either way to suggest what is good and what is bad.
Until now that is.
Garlic is definitely BAD for us.
"You Are, What You Eat".
See below for proof.

Try Not To Stare

From Bizarro

Highlighting Problems

Tax Return

Interview Technique

From xkcd

Disappointment

From The Perry Bible Fellowship

From Bizarro

Apple iOS 6

Dolphin Stress Test

I'm not sure exactly how this works, but it is amazingly accurate.  

Read the full description before looking at the  picture.

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it.  
It was used in a case study on stress levels at St. Mary's Hospital.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water.  
The dolphins are identical.  A closely monitored, scientific study revealed that, in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical, a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins.  
The more differences a person finds between the dolphins, the more stress that person is experiencing.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.



























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No Need to Reply, I'll  be on Vacation

Bizarro Cats

From Bizarro

Flu Season - Get Ready

To   avoid it...
Eat   right!


Make  sure you get  your daily dose of  fruit   and veggies.



Take  your vitamins  and bump up your vitamin C.



Get  plenty of  exercise because it builds your immune   system.



Walk  for at least an  hour a day,


Go for a   swim,  


Take the  stairs instead of the lift,   etc.  


Wash  your hands  often.  
If  you can't,  keep   a bottle of antibacterial stuff  around.


Get  lots of fresh  air.  
Open  doors &  windows whenever possible.



Try  to eliminate as  much stress  from   your life as you can.



Get  plenty of  rest.  

OR

Take  the doctor's  approach.
Think  about it...  
When  you go for a  flu jab, what do they do first?
They clean your  arm with   alcohol...

Why?  

Because   Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So...


I  walk to the pub.  (exercise)

I  put lime in my vodka...(fruit)  

Celery in my Bloody Mary  (veggies)

Drink  outdoors on the  patio..(fresh air)

Tell  rude jokes and laugh....(eliminate stress)  

Then I pass out. (rest)

The  way I see  it...


If  you  keep your alcohol levels up,  
Flu   germs  Can't   get you!  
As  my  grandmother always said,
'A  shot in the glass is better than one in  the  arse!'






Live   Well -
Laugh  Often -
Love  Much