2013

It's an American production, so instead of David Frost, Margaret Thatcher, Peter O'Toole and David Coleman you get Roger Ebert, Cory Monteith and Paul Walker; but it's a nice graphic all the same.  Enjoy, and here's looking forward to 2014.

List of included people and events:

• Tina Fey and Amy Poehler lampoon Taylor Swift at the Golden Globes; Swift gets pissed
• Justin Timberlake announces a return to music
• Baltimore Ravens beat San Francisco 49ers in Super Bowl XLVII
• Vine app launches
• Beyonce performs at Superbowl XLVII
• Netflix series House of Cards premieres
• Harlem Shake
• First-ever women’s UCF fight (Rousey vs. Carmouche)
• Dead Space 3 launched
• 3D printer for stem cells developed
• DOMA ends + Prop 8 overturned
• Pope Francis elected
• Robin Thicke (“Blurred Lines”) vs. Daft Punk (“Get Lucky”) for song of the summer
• Candy Crush Saga becomes most popular game on Facebook
• BioShock Infinite released
• HTC One launches
• Higgs Boson confirmed
• Roger Ebert dies
• Reese Witherspoon arrested for disorderly conduct
• Iron Man 3
• Lakers guard Kobe Bryant suffers torn Achilles’ tendon
• Samsung Galaxy S4 launches
• Edward Snowden leaks NSA secrets
• Lindsay Lohan in rehab
• Arrested Development Season 4 (finally) premieres
• The Office final season
• Behind the Candelabra airs
• Final season of How I Met Your Mother begins
• Star Trek Into Darkness
• The Great Gatsby
• The Hangover Part III
• Gif versus “jif”
• Yahoo purchases Tumblr
• Customer irate at lack of Dunkin’ Donuts receipt
• Kimye have baby, North West
• Paula Deen racism scandal
• James Gandolfini dies
• Jon Stewart goes on hiatus leaving John Oliver in charge of The Daily Show
• Third season of Game of Thrones concludes with record ratings / Red Wedding
• World War Z
• Man of Steel
• LeBron James and Miami Heat win 2nd straight NBA Championship
• Chicago Blackhawks win the Stanley Cup
• The Last of Us released
• Instagram adds video
• Airplanes movie
• Prince George of Cambridge born
• Lauryn Hill goes to prison for tax evasion
• Cory Monteith of Glee dies
• Netflix series Orange is the New Black premieres
• Pacific Rim
• The Wolverine
• Google Reader closes
• Miley Cyrus twerking at the VMAs
• Twerking girl lights herself on fire
• Grumpy Cat meets Lil Bub
• BuzzFeed launches Internet for cats
• Olinguito discovered
• Breaking Bad ends
• Jenny McCarthy becomes new co-host of “The View”
• The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?) goes viral
• Diana Nyad completes 110-mile swim from Cuba to Florida
• Dennis Rodman goes to North Korea
• Grand Theft Auto V
• iOS 7 / iPhone 5S/5C released
• “Abundant, accessible” water on Mars
• Voyager-1 officially leaves solar system
• U.S. government shuts down
• Affordable Care Act website launches
• Lou Reed dies
• Jonas Brothers break up
• Netflix surpasses HBO for subscribers
• Marcia Wallace, voice of The Simpson’s Edna Krabappel, dies
• Gravity
• Ender’s Game
• Bulls guard Derrick Rose returns to court after rehabbing ACL injury; gets injured again
• Boston Red Sox beat St. Louis Cards, win World Series
• The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
• Twitter IPO
• Playstation 4 launched
• Xbox One launched
• Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag released
• Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
• China to attempt first unmanned Moon landing
• Bill de Blasio wins mayor of New York

From Beutlerink

Country Logic

When you're from the country, your perspective is a little bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbour's farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mum home?" said the farmer.

"No, they went to Canterbury" said the boy.

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the
farmer.
"No, he went with Mum and Dad" the boy answered.

The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message" said the boy.

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".

The boy thought for a moment...

"You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges £500 for the bull and £50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

Californian Language

From Bizarro

The Only Gift I Want

From LunarBaboon

Toasting Marshmallows

From Bizarro

Murder On The Snorient Express

From Bizarro

From Somefun

Occupational Hazard

Let's hope he didn't empty his sack whilst he was there.

Snow Children

From Bizarro

From Teddy Tietz

Don't Be Naughty

From Bizarro

Wishlist

Real Meaning

From Bizarro

Decking Ball

Jean Luc Picard : Make it So : Let It Snow

Holiday Icons

From Bizarro

Happy Nesbit Christmas

Calvin Klein: The Early Years

From Bizarro

Countdown To Christmas

From Teddy Tietz

Unreliable Witness

From Bizarro

Physicists Make Terrible Parents

From smbc

Tales From The Other Side

From See Mike Draw

Musical Wisdom

From Bizarro

A Blonde Walks Into A Bank In London And Asks For A Loan

 A blonde walks into a bank in London and asks for a loan.

She says she's going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the documentation and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's manager and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a £250,000 Mercedes as collateral against a £5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Mercedes into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41. The loan office says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000?" The blonde replies...
"Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

Cake Topping

From Bizarro

If Great Scientists Had Logos

Vraiment Très Drôle

True (?) story reported by an English guy who was stopped and asked to give a breathalyzer test.

The English guy lives near Le Bugue in the Dordogne and at the time he was stopped he was wrecked.
The gendarme signals to him to wind down the window then asks him if he has been drinking, and with a slurring speech the English guy replies;
'Yes, this morning I was at my (hic)..daughter's wedding, and as I don't like church much I went to the cafe opposite and had several beers.'
'Then during the wedding banquet I seem to remember downing three great bottles of wine; (hic)... a corbieres, a Minervois and (hic)...a Faugeres.'
'Then to finish off during the celebrations.... and (hic) during the evening ...my mate  and I downed two bottles of Johnny Walker's Black Label.'
Getting impatient the gendarme warns him; 'Do you understand I'm a policeman and have stopped you for an alcohol test'?
The Englishman with a grin on his face replies; 'Do you understand that I'm English, like my car, and that my wife is sitting in the other seat, at the wheel?'

Iron(ing) Man

From Bizarro

From Bildungblog

Cemetery Of Modern Art

From Teddy Tietz

From Teddy Tietz

From Teddy Tietz

Don't Let Your Clock Call You Cuckoo

From Bizarro

Perfect Match

Ransom Note

Party Running Out Of Supplies

From Bizarro

Love Lizard

From The Perry Bible Fellowship

It's Gonna End Up Being A Drag

From Bizarro

Life Balance

From Dilbert

Classified Adverts

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in UK Newspapers:
 
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

A Linguistics Professor Was Lecturing To His Class One Day.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day.
"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However," he pointed out, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up “Yeah, right.”


Sidney Morgenbesser

Dating For Dummies

From Bizarro

A young ventriloquist was doing a show. With his dummy on his knee, he started going through his usual dumb blonde jokes, when a blonde in the second row stood on her chair and started shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes," she screamed. "What makes you think you can stereotype women in that way? What does the colour of person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's people like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as people. It's all because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general - and all in the name of humour."

The embarrassed ventriloquist began to apologise, whereupon the blonde yelled, "You stay out of this. I'm talking to that little bastard on your lap.

Male Annihilation Program

From AdrianaGameOver