From Bizarro
Friday, 31 January 2014
Thursday, 30 January 2014
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Monday, 27 January 2014
School - 1945 vs. 2012
Scenario :
Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school.
1945 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2012 - Police called, and they arrest Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programmes for 3 months. School governors hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes.
Scenario :
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1945 - Robbie sent to the office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2012 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD - result deemed to be positive. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and school gets extra funding from government because Robbie has a disability.
Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1945 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2012 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care; joins a gang; ends up in jail.
Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1945 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with. Passes exams, becomes a solicitor.
2012- Police called, car searched for drugs and weapons. Mark expelled from school for drug taking. Ends up as a drop out.
Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from Cracker night, puts them in a paint tin & blows up a wasp's nest.
1945 - Wasps die.
2012- Police & Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly in an airplane again.
Scenario :
Johnny falls over while running during morning break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. She hugs him to comfort him.
1945 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing footie. No damage done.
2012 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy and ends up gay.
Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school.
1945 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.
2012 - Police called, and they arrest Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programmes for 3 months. School governors hold meeting to implement bullying prevention programmes.
Scenario :
Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1945 - Robbie sent to the office and given six of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2012 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADHD - result deemed to be positive. Robbie's parents get fortnightly disability payments and school gets extra funding from government because Robbie has a disability.
Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1945 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2012 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care; joins a gang; ends up in jail.
Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1945 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with. Passes exams, becomes a solicitor.
2012- Police called, car searched for drugs and weapons. Mark expelled from school for drug taking. Ends up as a drop out.
Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover fireworks from Cracker night, puts them in a paint tin & blows up a wasp's nest.
1945 - Wasps die.
2012- Police & Anti-Terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly in an airplane again.
Scenario :
Johnny falls over while running during morning break and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. She hugs him to comfort him.
1945 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing footie. No damage done.
2012 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy and ends up gay.
Friday, 24 January 2014
Thursday, 23 January 2014
Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Tuesday, 21 January 2014
Monday, 20 January 2014
Friday, 17 January 2014
Thursday, 16 January 2014
It's What Friends Do
A man brings his best mate home for dinner unannounced at 5.30 p.m. After work.
His wife screams at him as his friend listens in.
"My hair & make-up are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas, and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!
What the hell did you bring him here for?"
"Because he's thinking of getting married."
His wife screams at him as his friend listens in.
"My hair & make-up are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pyjamas, and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight!
What the hell did you bring him here for?"
"Because he's thinking of getting married."
Wednesday, 15 January 2014
Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Monday, 13 January 2014
Friday, 10 January 2014
Thursday, 9 January 2014
Wednesday, 8 January 2014
Travel Plans for 2014
Plans for 2014
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognises you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity any more.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART!
Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year. You can do your bit by remembering to send this e-mail to at least one unstable person.
My job is done!
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognises you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity any more.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART!
Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year. You can do your bit by remembering to send this e-mail to at least one unstable person.
My job is done!
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
Monday, 6 January 2014
Friday, 3 January 2014
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