From Faceless
Friday, 31 May 2013
Thursday, 30 May 2013
Wednesday, 29 May 2013
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Monday, 27 May 2013
Beer For One Euro A PInt
Ryanair's Michael O'Leary arrives in a hotel in Dublin, he goes to the bar and asks for a pint of draught Guinness. The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary."
Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.
"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"
"That is remarkable value" Michael comments
"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.
That will be 3 euro please.
O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro."
"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"
Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".
"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir"
O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro."
O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".
"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage.
"Do you know who I am?"
"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"
"I've had enough, what sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"
"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second"
"I will never use this bar again
"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"
Somewhat taken aback, O'Leary replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.
"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman. "And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8. We have the cheapest beer in Ireland"
"That is remarkable value" Michael comments
"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.
That will be 3 euro please.
O'Leary scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 euro. - You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Euro."
"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"
Michael attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".
"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of €4.00 for your seat sir"
O'Leary swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman. "And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 euro."
O'Leary was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled, "This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".
"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 euro please." O'Leary's face was red with rage.
"Do you know who I am?"
"Of course I do Mr. O'Leary,"
"I've had enough, what sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this. I insist on speaking to a manager!"
"Here is his E mail address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number. Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 cent per second"
"I will never use this bar again
"OK sir, but remember, we are the only hotel in Ireland selling pints for one Euro"
Thursday, 23 May 2013
Tuesday, 21 May 2013
Monday, 20 May 2013
Friday, 17 May 2013
Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats
I bet cats and dogs actually have their own language like we do.
Then, when people meow at their cats and they walk off, I bet it's like, the cat says "Hello" and then you're like "apples" and the cat is like "Excuse me?" and you're like "Goats, Maybe" and the cat is like "do you even speak cat?" and you're like "Pizza, umbrella, paper" and the cat gives up and walks away.
But with dogs, when you throw out random words they're like "Wow! You know some words in dog? That's great! Good job! Keep trying!"
From Bizarro
Then, when people meow at their cats and they walk off, I bet it's like, the cat says "Hello" and then you're like "apples" and the cat is like "Excuse me?" and you're like "Goats, Maybe" and the cat is like "do you even speak cat?" and you're like "Pizza, umbrella, paper" and the cat gives up and walks away.
But with dogs, when you throw out random words they're like "Wow! You know some words in dog? That's great! Good job! Keep trying!"
From Bizarro
Thursday, 16 May 2013
Wednesday, 15 May 2013
Tuesday, 14 May 2013
What Is A Word
What is a word made up of 4 letters yet is also made up of 3. Although is written with 8 letters, and then with 4. Rarely consists of 6, and never is written with 5.
Monday, 13 May 2013
Friday, 10 May 2013
Wednesday, 8 May 2013
Tuesday, 7 May 2013
Monday, 6 May 2013
Friday, 3 May 2013
Relationship Information
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will,
There is no need to remind him about it every six months.
I heard a guy moaning about how expensive his wedding was.
He's going to be apoplectic when he finds out how much his divorce will cost.
NASA's robot, Curiosity, landed on Mars.
Early pictures show no signs of ESPN, beer or porn.
This puts paid to the theory that men are from Mars.
I once won an argument with a woman . . . in this dream that I had.
If your wife or girlfriend ever asks, "If I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?", never give two names.
It is funny when my wife gives me the "silent treatment". She thinks that it's a punishment.
If there was a way to read a woman's mind, I'm not sure that I'd want to.
I hate shoes, shopping and gossip, and I already know I am annoying.
Dear women who are smart, sexy and in love with me . . . please start existing.
Men have feelings too.
For example, we feel hungry.
There is no need to remind him about it every six months.
I heard a guy moaning about how expensive his wedding was.
He's going to be apoplectic when he finds out how much his divorce will cost.
NASA's robot, Curiosity, landed on Mars.
Early pictures show no signs of ESPN, beer or porn.
This puts paid to the theory that men are from Mars.
I once won an argument with a woman . . . in this dream that I had.
If your wife or girlfriend ever asks, "If I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?", never give two names.
It is funny when my wife gives me the "silent treatment". She thinks that it's a punishment.
If there was a way to read a woman's mind, I'm not sure that I'd want to.
I hate shoes, shopping and gossip, and I already know I am annoying.
Dear women who are smart, sexy and in love with me . . . please start existing.
Men have feelings too.
For example, we feel hungry.
Thursday, 2 May 2013
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