Reward

From Don't Hit Save

I read that taking your bike to work is good for the environment.

So, I thought why not?

I'm not using that roof rack for anything else!

Directions

From Joseph Nowak

Travel Update:

Reports are coming in that a lorry carrying snooker equipment has overturned on the A69 near Carlisle,

Motorists are advised to avoid the area if possible as there are cues in both directions.

Solution

I entered a competition to find the most considerate lover.

I came second.

Lure

From Buni Comic

My mate took his Grandad to one of those fancy Health Spas where tiny

little fish eat all the dead skin.

It cost him £65, but it was a lot cheaper than a cremation.

Home Alone

From GoodBearComics

Him: I saw you walking your dogs yesterday.

Her: They’re not my dogs, they’re my sister’s.

Him: Your sisters sure are ugly.

When You Order Wine

From Truth Facts

I found a wallet with £20 in it.

I wasn't sure how to proceed, but then I thought, "What would Jesus do?"

So, I turned it into wine.

Attention

From OffTheMark

I was recently diagnosed with attention something something.