Son: “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?”
Dad: “I don’t know; how many?”
Son: “Ten tickles.”
Dad: “Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.”
Son: “Huh?”
Dad: “Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?”
Son: “No; how?
Dad: “Test tickles.”
Son: “that’s inappropriate.”
My girlfriend told me that she slept with 5 people before we met.
I usually wouldn’t mind, but I was only 20 minutes late!
I've cut down on my drinking, and now only have one vodka before going to bed.
Last night I went to bed eight times.
I love putting on warm underwear straight out of the dryer.
Plus, it's fun to look around the launderette and guess who they belong to.
Why can’t you hear when a pterodactyl goes to the toilet?
Because they have a silent p.
They told me I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic but so far I’ve made 2 jugs and a vase!
