Cinch

From Loose Parts

How do you get a snake into Hogwarts?

You tell it to slither in.

Never Make A Promise You Can't Keep

From Andertoons

The Truth About The Beatles

John was the brain

Paul was the heart

George was the spirit

Ringo was the drummer

Hair Art

From Jonesy

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:

-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?

-Sure.

-It's pretty much worthless.

-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.

Why You Don't Divulge Your Job

From Speedbump

A man at the fair was giving good advice for £1

I gave him £1 and he told me, "stop wasting money."

White Bread

From Loading Artist

What is a duck’s drug of choice?

Quack

How do you legalize Quack?

You start by passing a bill.

Memory Loss Mattress

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

"What do we want!?"

"A cure for amnesia!"

"What did we want?"

Suicidal Thoughts

From AThirdThing

“Doctor, those pills you gave me are working well but they are making walk like a crab”.

“Oh, that’ll be the side effects”