Beep Beep

From Loose Parts

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all those ACME products, why didn't he just buy himself dinner?

If You Use These Emojis You're Old

From Steve Nelson

There were no such things as emojis when I was a young man.

In those days if you wanted a girl to know you found her attractive you had to post her an aubergine.

Proactive

From JimBenton

I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night.

I didn't finish it.

I got up to p.

Safe Place

From OffTheMark

They threw me out of the cinema yesterday for taking in my own food.

But come on, the prices in the cinema foyer are far too high.

Plus, I hadn't had a barbeque in for ages.

It's Alive

From Buttersafe

Most people think Frankenstein is the name of the monster.

But, it's not.

It's the name of the book.

Allergy Warning

From Looks Good On Paper

Soylent Green is just the brand name.

You can make it at home with your friends and family.

Day Off

From StrangeTrek

I'm not saying his autobiography is ghost written but he dies at the end.