Giraffe Toilet

From At Random Comics

Why can’t you hear when a pterodactyl goes to the toilet?

Because they have a silent p.

Another Broken Vase

From War and Peas

They told me I’d never be any good at poetry because I’m dyslexic but so far I’ve made 2 jugs and a vase!

Wax Work

From OffTheMark

I just spent ages waxing my car.

I’m still not quite sure how it gets so hairy.

Diabetes Placebo Test

From Cornered

I was just on a diabetes information website.

It asked if I would accept cookies.

Is that a trick question?

Don’t Bite The Hound That Feeds You

From Bliss

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabradoodle.

Parent / Teacher Evening

From Scott Johnston Cartoons

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves.

The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket.

After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, "Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?"

Understand Your Cat's Behaviour

From Scott Metzger

Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.

Cats can.