One red card, two penalties, five goals, eleven minutes of extra time and a blood pressure too high to count.
Probably beats the usual two Weetabix and a shower before the working week starts.
Monday, 6 July 2026
Friday, 3 July 2026
Taking Phone Calls At Work
"Hello, is that the cricket club?"
"Yes."
"Could I speak to Mike please?"
"I'm sorry, he's in at the moment. I'll get him to call you back when he's out!"
Thursday, 2 July 2026
Unintended Consequences
Jesus is standing in for St. Peter at the gates to Heaven when an old man approaches.
"Well, what have you done to deserve entry to Heaven?" asks Jesus.
"To be honest." replies the man, "I am merely a simple carpenter. It was my son who was truly great. Although he wasn't my biological son, his birth was miraculous; still I loved him very much. Later in life he went through many trials and transformations. He spread joy and his story is told all over the world even to this day."
Jesus looks at the man, with a tear in his eye, and says "Father?"
The man looks back and replies; "Pinocchio?"
Wednesday, 1 July 2026
Tuesday, 30 June 2026
Monday, 29 June 2026
Sawing Ladies
I failed my entrance exam to get into The Magic Circle.
It wasn’t fair, they were all trick questions!
Friday, 26 June 2026
Developing Problem
Me: I need batteries so that I can tell what time it is.
Friend: Is it for a clock?
Me: I don’t know, that’s why I need the batteries.
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