Interruptions

From Dilbert

From Dilbert

Have you seen that old boy collecting trollies at Tesco?

He must be pushing seventy odd.

Loyalty Data

From xkcd

"Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a supermarket."

"How long have you felt like this?"

"Ever since I was Lidl!"

Supermarket Loyalty

From Rhymes With Orange

I just bought two pints of milk from Aldi.

It was an impulse buy.

I only went in for a trombone, a wet suit and an angle grinder.

Cat Dentistry School

From Rhymes With Orange

I'm not saying people in my area have bad teeth but . . .

. . . one woman just smiled in Tesco and the barcode scanner picked it up as a set of saucepans.

Face Lift

From The Argyle Sweater

Aldi are selling reindeer steaks this Christmas.

Not to be outdone, one of their rivals has started selling Lidl Donkey.

COVID-19

I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"

She replied to me, "Ammonia Cleaner"

I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."

With the football season suspension due to the corona virus, I've decided to talk to my wife.

She has told me she has been made redundant . . . from Woolworths.

Latest purchase limits placed on shops, in light of the Coronavirus due to panic buying;

ASDA: 2 hand sanitisers and a 4 pack of toilet rolls.

TESCO: 1 hand sanitiser, 500g of rice and 4 pack of toilet rolls.

WAITROSE: 1 lobster, 6 quails' eggs and 100g of Foie Gras.

ALDI: 1 MIG welder, 1 pink sports bra, 2 trumpets and a wetsuit.

Because of panic buying I've run out of toilet paper, so I'm now using lettuce leaves.... I've a feeling today is just gonna be the tip of the iceberg.

I keep singing "Come Fly With Me", "Moon River and "New York, New York".

I've got Croonervirus.

Last night I thought I had a case of Corona, but there were only 5 bottles left in the box.

When you start to work from home but miss the daily commute:

The Supermarket Advantage

 

 

Beat The 5p Plastic Bag Charge

 

From The Poke