Showing posts with label crime. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crime. Show all posts

Friday, 13 March 2026

You're Toast Mate


From Buni Comic

My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Wednesday, 11 February 2026

Street Crime

From Pardon My Planet

Took my son out for his first pint last night.

Got him a Heineken.

He didn't like it so I had it.

Got him a Carlsberg.

He didn't like that either, so I had that as well.

Same with the Cider and Guinness.

By the time we got to the whisky I could hardly push the pram.

Wednesday, 2 July 2025

In Deep Trouble


From Loading Artist

The perfect crime would be murdering Where's Wally, because the police would never find the body.

Monday, 13 November 2023

Friday, 8 October 2021

Siphoning Fuel

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

There's a woman in our local park flogging stolen batteries.

She sells c-cells by the seesaw.

She gives the used ones away free of charge.

Thursday, 14 February 2013

Valentine's Q&A's

Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.


Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date!