Dreams Of Flying

From Remi Lascault

I bought my nephew a caterpillar cake without checking the best before date, so now he's got a butterfly cake.

Relaxed

From Remi Lascault

I phoned the boss, "I'm on the train heading to the south coast now."

"What?", he answered, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's five o'clock in the morning! What are you doing on a train?"

I said, "You're the one who told me you wanted me in Brighton early this morning!"