Son: “How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?”
Dad: “I don’t know; how many?”
Son: “Ten tickles.”
Dad: “Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.”
Son: “Huh?”
Dad: “Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?”
Son: “No; how?
Dad: “Test tickles.”
Son: “That’s inappropriate.”
The perfect crime would be murdering Where's Wally, because the police would never find the body.
Teach a man to fish and he'll be like, "cool, thanks".
Teach a woman to fish and she'll be like, "You're doing it wrong".
I phoned up the fishing helpline today.
I said "I'm really hopeless at fishing and need some tips".
The man said "Okay, can you hold the line?"
I said "No".
