Dolly Parton Quotes:
"It costs a lot of money to look this cheap."
"I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb . . . and I also know that I’m not blonde."
A police officer was tasked to train three blonde women to become detectives.
He showed them a picture of a man for five seconds before asking the first blonde how she would recognize him in the streets. "Oh, that's easy! He only has one eye!"
The police officer exclaimed: "Are you stupid? He doesn't have one eye, the picture is the profile of the man!"
Clearly furious by that answer, he asked the second blonde the same question.
"Oh, well... I'd recognize him because he only has one ear".
The police officer was damn furious and let out a loud sigh before asking the third blonde, and he urged her to at least think through the answer before answering.
"I'd recognize him because he wears contact lenses", she said.
The police officer, somewhat clearly caught off guard by that answer was curious to see if she was right or not. So she called the photographer from the model agency from where the picture was obtained and asked the photographer for the model's phone number.
Surely enough, he called the model and the model confirmed that he was wearing contact lenses when the picture was taken.
"That's amazing!", he told the third blonde. "How in the world did you know that he was wearing contact lenses?"
"Well," said the third blonde, "he can't wear glasses since he only has one eye and one ear".
From The New Yorker by Christopher Weyant
Two blondes went deer hunting and they managed to shoot a deer.
They started dragging the deer by the hind legs to get it back to their truck.
An experienced hunter saw them and said, "Girls, you're doing it wrong. You're dragging against the grain of the deer's hair. If you drag by the antlers, you'll be pulling with the grain of the hair, and it will be much easier."
So, the two blondes started dragging their deer by the antlers.
After about 20 minutes, one said to the other, "You know, that old guy was right! It's so much easier to drag the deer by the antlers, it's like it's just gliding along the ground."
"Yeah, he was," said the other blonde. "But we sure are getting far away from our truck."
A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16year olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
"You ok?" she says."
Yes." he says."
You can go and play with the other kids you know" she says.
"It's best I stay here." he says.
"Why's that sweetie?" says the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says, "Because I'm the Goalie!"
