Sin

From JimBenton

Jesus sacrificed his life for your sins . . .

. . . except he came back.

So, what did he really sacrifice?

His weekend?

Jesus sacrificed his weekend for your sins.

Taking One For The Team

From Jon Adams / Cityclops

What did Adam say on the night before Christmas?

It's Christmas Eve.

Moving House

From Speedbump

I'm currently moving house.

Has anyone got some spare cardboard boxes?

My ex won't let me live with her.

Apple Salesman

From Looks Good On Paper

What do you call someone who sees an Apple store getting robbed?

An iWitness.

Genesis of Clothing

From Raging Pencils

I was just viewing a woman's profile on a dating website:

Blonde 33 From London Great Personality 5ft 3 Green Eyes

Don't get me wrong, I like short women, but three green eyes?

No wonder she can't find a fella.

Reproduction

From Cyanide & Happiness

Non-Native Species

From smbc

 

The First Lawyer

From Bizarro