Love Birds

From Loading Artist

I ordered a whole duck at the Chinese last night.

It was great until I got to the bill.

Bakery

From JimBenton

I was shopping in Tesco the other day and there was a weird looking child running around the place like a lunatic.

So, I said to the bloke standing next to me, "Whoa. That is one ugly kid running around."

He looked at me and snarled, "That is my son."

I baulked and said, "Sorry, mate. I didn't realise you were his dad."

He said, "I'm not. I'm his mother."

Purebre(a)d

From Cyanide & Happiness

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

The keeper told me that it was bread in captivity.

Job Skills

From Moderately Confused

From Moderately Confused

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Aging App 1

From OffTheMark

Don't Fill Up On Bread

From Will McPhail

Short Bread

From Bizarro

Shopping

From Faceless