Phonetically Defined 6

From Wrong Hands

Phonetically Defined 5

From Wrong Hands

Phonetically Defined 4

From Wrong Hands

Phonetically Defined 3

From Wrong Hands

Phonetically Defined 2

From Wrong Hands

Phonetically Defined 1

From Wrong Hands

Plethora

From TheArgyleSweater

Medical Distinction

Medical Distinction between Guts and Balls.

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all heard of people having Guts or having Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

 
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom in her hand, and having the guts to ask, "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere with your Mother?"
 
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the chaps, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the bum and having the Balls to say, "You're next, chubby."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically, speaking there is NO difference in the outcome.
 
 
 
Both are fatal.

Important scientific phrases and their translations

The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious languages of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone working on a Ph.D. dissertation or academic paper anywhere.

"It has long been known" = I didn't look up the original reference.
"A definite trend is evident" = These data are practically meaningless.
"While it has not been possible to provide definite answers to the questions" = An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published.
"Three of the samples were chosen for detailed study" = The other results didn't make any sense.
"Typical results are shown" = This is the prettiest graph.
"These results will be in a subsequent report" = I might get around to this sometime, if pushed/funded.
"In my experience" = once.
"In case after case" = twice.
"In a series of cases" = thrice.
"It is believed that" = I think.
"It is generally believed that" = A couple of others think so, too.
"Correct within an order of magnitude" = Wrong.
"According to statistical analysis" = Rumor has it.
"A statistically oriented projection of the significance of these findings" = A wild guess.
"A careful analysis of obtainable data" = Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over my coffee.
"It is clear that much additional work will be required before a complete understanding of this phenomenon occurs"= I don't get it.
"After additional study by my colleagues"= They don't get it either.
"Thanks are due to Joe Blotz for assistance with the experiment and to Cindy Adams for valuable discussions" = Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant.
"A highly significant area for exploratory study" = A totally useless topic selected by my committee.
"It is hoped that this study will stimulate further investigation in this field" = I quit.