Wise Dog

From Half-Full

I used to find it annoying enough when I got my signature wrong.

But now, thanks to my new iPhone, I sometimes get my face wrong too.

Cat Funeral

From Half-Full

My girlfriend's cat died so I bought her another one just like it.

She was furious.

"What am I going to do with two dead cats?"

Homework Disaster

From Half-Full

Dear Marje

Q. My child had decided not to eat meat. What can I replace it with?

A. A dog. Dogs love meat.