Misaligned

From Andertoons

I had an audition to become the trumpet player in my local jazz quartet today.

Everything was going really well at first, but then I blew it.

Night Terrors

From Bliss

How do you tell the difference between a bugler and a burglar?

One of them has a bugle.

And the other one is really upset that his bugle's been stolen.

Invitation

From Buni Comic

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2 o'clock this morning but I didn't bother letting him in.

I mean, what person in their right mind turns up to a party wearing a dressing gown and slippers?

Silent Treatment

 From Rhymes With Orange

I need to rehome a dog.

It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot.

If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.

The Sound Of Nature

From Buni Comic

I'm convinced my budgie's been working out.

You should see his pecks.