Safe Place

From OffTheMark

They threw me out of the cinema yesterday for taking in my own food.

But come on, the prices in the cinema foyer are far too high.

Plus, I hadn't had a barbeque in for ages.

Night Terrors

From Bliss

How do you tell the difference between a bugler and a burglar?

One of them has a bugle.

And the other one is really upset that his bugle's been stolen.

Escape

From Bill Boles

The last time I visited Blackpool I went on a donkey.

It took me 23 days to get there.

Scared Inkless

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?

Tentickles.

Scary Stories

From Liz Climo

From Liz Climo

I bumped into a man with a white stick and a guide dog.

I said, "You must be blind".

He said, "Tell me something I don't know".

I said, "There's a tree over there".

Spider On A Plane

From Bizarro