Cracking Horror

From Yaffle by Jeffrey Caulfield and Brian Ponshock

My friends call me the exorcist.

Because, after I leave there are no spirits left in the house.

Flying Pigs

"You have a reminder set for 5pm today," my phone said.

"A reminder? What is it?" I asked.

"It's a notification to ensure you don't forget something, but that's not important right now," the phone replied.

Then I remembered I'd left it in Airplane mode.

Bearly Together

From After Death Comics

Without a doubt my favourite Robin Williams film is Mrs Fire.

Search

I had an idea for a film plot where a retired CIA agent searches for his kidnapped daughter in Paris.

Turns out that idea was taken.

 

I then had another idea for a film where the same agent is kidnapped with his ex-wife in Istanbul, but it turns out that one was taken too.

Fin, The Film

From OffTheMark

I told you not to mention that James Bond film.

Never say Never Say Never Again again.

Farrrest Gump

From Reality Check

I just watched a pirated film.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give a 3.14.

Toad - In 3000D

From The Argyle Sweater

Q: What do you get if you cross a science fiction film with a toad?

A: Star Warts

Clay Pigeon Shooting For Dogs

From Bliss

Two DJs are talking in the pub.

"Wanna go see a movie tonight?" asks one.

"Dunno" replies the other, "who's the projectionist?"

One Please

From The Jenkins

From Buni Comic

From Honey Dill

I got this new TV remote, and it had a big red button that said 'Cinema Mode'.

So, I clicked on it and this voice behind me went: "Shut up in front will you, I'm trying to watch the film".

Horror Film 10

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 9

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 8

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 7

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 6

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 5

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 4

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 3

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 2

From OffTheMark

Horror Film 1

From OffTheMark

Monkey Nuts

From Buni Comic

I saw my first porn film last week.

I couldn't believe how young I looked.