Reward

From Don't Hit Save

I read that taking your bike to work is good for the environment.

So, I thought why not?

I'm not using that roof rack for anything else!

Timing Is Everything

From Mark Lynch

Interviewer: “So, where do you see yourself in five years?”

Me: “I'd say my biggest weakness is not listening properly.”

Efficiency

From Dinos and Comics

My grandma quietly changed her hair colour while taking a nap.

She dyed peacefully in her sleep.

When You Wish Upon A Star

From StrangeTrek

I used to work for the circus.

I was a human cannonball.

Until they fired me.

Naked Fridays

From Barely Baked Beans

"Why did you have sex with her?"

"She was lying there naked; what was I supposed to do?"

"The autopsy. You were supposed to perform the autopsy!"

"Don't tell me how to do my job!"

"You are an absolutely terrible vet!"

Co-worker Complaints

From War and Peas

A giraffe can grow up to 18 feet.

But they usually only have 4.

Providing

From HeyBuddy

Four years ago I was doing trollies at Sainsbury's on a Monday night.

I left, worked hard, and got a degree from the University of Sheffield.

Now I'm doing trollies at Waitrose on a Friday night.

Never give up.

Stuck At Work

From Pardon My Planet

How To Avoid Stress At Work:

1. Don't go to work.

Lab Workers

From Jonesy

Me: "Do you mind if I leave work early?"

Boss: "Only if you can make up the time."

Me: "Okay, it's eleventy past twine."

Under Pressure

From In Otter News

Q: How Does An Otter Drive To Work?

A: In His Otter-Mobile

I Saw A Dog

From HeyBuddy

Realistic VR

From Faceless

To get your porn star name, take the number of times you've had sex in the past week and you're not a porn star, are you? Get back to work.

Work Life Balance

From Dinos and Comics

The economy in the UK is getting so dire that the elderly aren't getting to enjoy their retirement.

The BBC interviewed 73 year old Charles from Windsor who said, "Despite having a generous government pension, I've had to start working again."

Casual Friday

From Mark Lynch

My wife was standing naked looking at herself in the mirror last night and asked, "What would you say is the best thing about me?"

I said "Your sandwiches".

Welcome To Hogwarts

From BerkeleyMews

You come from dust; you will return to dust.

That's why I don't dust.

It could be someone I know.

Work Hard, Play Hard

From War and Peas

I don't mind going to work.

But this eight hour wait to go back home is just bullshit!

Replaced By Technology

From F Minus

I was going to give my change to a tramp today, but his sign said 'ONE DAY IT COULD BE YOU'. So I held onto it, just in case.

The Daily Grind

From The Bent Pinky by Scott Metzger

I accidentally just knocked a lady over in Domino's Pizza. Well, I say one…

Yet More Working From Home Problems

From OffTheMark

From Loose Parts

From OffTheMark

Back To The Office

From Real Life Adventures