It Has Been . . .

From Loose Parts

I saw a sign that said "Watch Batteries Fitted Here".

I gave it ten minutes but it was no fun whatsoever.

Water Safety

From Mark Lynch

Just a warning, in case you're thinking of buying a watch from Amazon.

I learned the hard way that if it says you can swim wearing it, this only applies if you can already swim without it.

Watching

From Buni Comic

People at work say I'm nosey and always listening in to private conversations.

I just wish they'd have the guts to say it to my face.

Being Watched

From Tom Gauld

My brother just can't stop watching old re-runs of Wonder Woman and Xena Princess Warrior.

Up to five episodes a day.

I think he's a heroine addict.

Future Tech Market

From 9to5

Q. How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Three.

     One to change the bulb.

     One to sing about how good the old bulb used to be.

     And one to complain that the new bulb has gone electric.

Time Machine

From Scribbly G

The inventor of the snooze button has died.

His funeral will take place tomorrow at 6.00, 6.09, 6.18, 6.27 and 6.36.

Old-Time Time

From Bizarro