In Deep Trouble

From Loading Artist

The perfect crime would be murdering Where's Wally, because the police would never find the body.

Tried and Tested

From Speedbump

The Day My Dog Spontaneously Combusted

 

there he was –

chasing sticks,

doing tricks,

and all that stuff

 

next minute, woof

Brian Bilston

Escape

From Bill Boles

The last time I visited Blackpool I went on a donkey.

It took me 23 days to get there.

Habitual Criminal

From Rhymes With Orange

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

Rural Monopoly

From Wrong Hands

Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been fairly concerned.

He has taken going to jail pretty hard. He is refusing all food, spitting and screaming at everyone and is threatening violence at anyone who comes near him. He has smeared the walls with his faeces and is refusing to wear any clothes.

As a family we are united in our decision not to play Monopoly with him ever again.

Siphoning Fuel

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

There's a woman in our local park flogging stolen batteries.

She sells c-cells by the seesaw.

She gives the used ones away free of charge.

Conjugal Visit

From Bizarro

Hugs

 

From Buni Comic

Valentine's Q&A's

Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date!