Glass House

From At Random Comics

Me: I bought a gun because of my bird phobia.

Therapist: You might be getting carried away.

Me: *firing into the ceiling* Not without a fight.

Horror Film 2

From OffTheMark

Perspective

From Rhymes With Orange

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

Reward

From Dinos and Comics

I've got a glass of water by the side of my bed. I can't wait to sink my teeth into it.

The Daily Grind

From The Bent Pinky by Scott Metzger

I accidentally just knocked a lady over in Domino's Pizza. Well, I say one…