Cats Putting Up The Christmas Tree

From Break of Day

Santa played a round of golf this morning to help him relax before his big day and he hit a birdie.

It was a partridge on a par 3.

A Christmas Wish

Special Show

From Speedbump

I can't believe that there are still 7 weeks until pancake day and already the shops are selling bread and flour.

House Entrance

From War and Peas

Please don't forget . . .

. . . the scales get put back one stone tonight.

Santapede

From Looks Good On Paper

Just 2 more sleeps until blokes start shopping for that perfect gift.

Winning Hand

From Buni Comic

Did you hear that Boney M have updated their Christmas hit, Mary's Boy Child, to make it more in keeping with modern sensibilities?

It's called Their They Child!

Excuse

From Reality Check

Three guys decide to stop for a drink after work on Christmas Eve.

One thing leads to another and they end up on an all night pub crawl.

While going to one last place, they get in a terrible accident and all three are killed.

They find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates.

St Peter tells them, "Boys, you're in luck. Since it's Christmas, we have a special policy. Show me anything that shows that you're celebrating the day, and you get into Heaven."

One guy pulls out his lighter and flicks it. "Christmas candle."

"OK, it's a stretch, but you're in."

Second guy pulls out his keys and jingles them. "Christmas bells."

"Whatever, you're in."

Third guy pulls a pair of women's panties out of his pocket.

St. Peter says, "Hold up. I'm willing to stretch a point today, but what do panties have to do with Christmas?"

"They're Carol's."

Why Christmas Is In Winter

What present did the the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

One Of Nine

From Andertoons

My wife just told me that in 9 months, I'm in for a big surprise...

I can't wait for Santa to come now!

Checking The Situation

From Moderately Confused

Hot Tub

Santa Claus, the Truth

From Buni Comic

Visiting Santa

From Speedbump

Santa Delivers

From Cyanide & Happiness

My wife has begun hinting that she wants something black and lacy for Christmas.

So, I've bought her a pair of football boots.

Smooth Operator

From BogartCreek

Santa and Bunny

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

My mind is like my internet browser. 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Covid Violation

From Richard Jolley

What size of turkey do I need to cook for 12 people and possibly 2 police officers?

Safety Santa

From Moderately Confused

From OffTheMark

From Looks Good On Paper

Naughty or Nice or . . .

From Moderately Confused

From Pat Bagley

I've heard that if you have relatives round on Christmas Day the police can force entry and make them go home. Do you think this is a free service or do you have to book?

Visiting Santa

From Moderately Confused