Baby Pictures

From Dogs on the 4th

I went to visit a friend at the hospital and the only parking spot was at the C section.

I had to climb out of the car through the sunroof.

Jackson Pollack - Police Sketch Artist

From Bliss

If a picture really does speak a thousand words . . .

I'm guessing it's a picture of my mother telling me who she briefly bumped into whilst she was shopping.

Worst Consequences Of Sex

From Truth Facts

Sorry I said "nice phone" when you showed me a photo of your baby.

Unfaithful

From Reality Check

While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.

Dazed and confused, I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"

As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse...   "I'm okay I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, "Get in and I'll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."

"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just a few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with the Harley, I guess." I replied.

Tough Pictionary Round

From The Jenkins

The guy at pump 6 next to me put a fiver's worth of petrol in his car.

I thought - where's he going, pump 2?

Distraction

From OffTheMark

I can't believe it's Christmas Eve already!

Or at least that's what it looks like judging by the state of my advent calendar.

Holiday Pictures

From Bored Panda

My mate said "I'm going on holiday to the south of France".

I said "Where, exactly?"

He said "Spain".

Selfie Mutiliation

From JimBenton

Pleasure

Selfie Parade

From Bizarro

Why Women Are Referred To As Birds Or Chicks

 

From Money To Happiness

Life Without Kids

The Four Elements

Granny Smith

Deer Seal, Elephant Swan, Antelope Pengiun

World Cup Refund

After Nigeria was eliminated from the world cup the Nigerian captain personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that travelled to Brazil.
He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.
 

Duck-billed platypus sucks man's face off during Wimbledon quarter final.

Dark Side Of The Loom