Safety First

From At Random Comics

Londoners can be really cruel.

I was in a butcher's shop earlier when a woman asked for a Panda Sausage!

Hush Money

From At Random Comics

My wife's gone out for a night on the town with the girls.

She's taken her wedding ring off and left it at home, presumably to avoid losing it if she has a couple too many drinks.

Very sensible. I hope she has a lovely time.