There's one kind of people in this world.
Those who know about Schrödinger, and those who don't.
There's one kind of people in this world.
Those who know about Schrödinger, and those who don't.
I told the wife that I was planning on opening a theatre.
She looked astonished and said, "Are you having me on?"
I said, "Well, you can audition, but I'm not promising anything."
To start a zoo, you need at least two pandas, a grizzly and three polars.
That's the bear minimum.
They say that time is a great healer.
Which would explain why doctor's surgeries make you wait 3 weeks for an appointment!
My first wife left me because of my obsession with clickbait and you won't believe what happened next.
I couldn't believe it today when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't actually mine.
She says I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school.