Pudding

From GoodBearComics

Me: “I’ll have the steak please”

Waiter: “How do you like it?”

Me: “I don’t know you haven’t given it to me yet”

AI Café

From Pardon My Planet

I was in a restaurant when a waitress shouted "ANYONE KNOW CPR?"

I said "Yeah I know the whole alphabet!"

Everyone laughed.

Well, everyone except this one guy!

Sign Of Trouble

From Bliss

My Wife and I were recommended to try a sperm donor.

So we did, but neither of us liked it.

Next time we're sticking to our regular kebabs.

Menu Choice

From Andertoons

From Andertoons

From Andertoons

From Rubes

I’ve just been to a restaurant where they served roast pelican . . .

. . . it was very tasty, but the bill was enormous!

Mix Up

From Joseph Nowak

Her: I'll have the salad, no nuts, please?

Waiter: Of course,

Me: It didn't say it had nuts.

Her: I'm allergic, so I tell them to be safe.

Me: That makes sense.

Waiter: And for you sir?

Me: Steak, no bees, please?

Not Caring

From smbc

I went to an Indian restaurant the other day and decided to try the toucan curry.

The food was delicious but the bill was ridiculous.

Seating Plan

From The Argyle Sweater

You have to feel sorry for Jesus, not only was he crucified, but it was right at the start of a four day weekend.

All You Can Eat Buffet

From Private Eye

I got banned from Weight Watchers for dropping a bag on M&Ms on the floor.

It was the best game of Hungry Hippos that I've ever seen.

Today's Special

From Cyanide & Happiness

I just placed an order at my local Chinese takeaway.

I'm going to try the sweet and sour badger with the special fried badger cubs.

It's a sett meal for one.

Why You Shouldn't Show Off In Restaurants

From Cornered

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.

For example:

Jane ate her friend's sandwich.

Jane ate her friend's colon.

Something To Look Forward To

From Dinos and Comics

I saw a sign in a restaurant.

"Chicken Dinner: £1.50"

I went in and ordered one.

The waiter brought me a plate of bird seed.

Anticipation

From Liniers Cartoon

I walked into a restaurant last night.

"Hi, is my table ready?"

"No, not yet sir; would you mind waiting?"

"No, that's okay."

"Great, take these to table six then."

Dog's Diner

From Andertoons

The latest research suggests that the average dog barks around 234 times a day.

Of course, that's just a woof estimate!

Fortune Cookie

From Mark Lynch

I spent five hundred quid on a limo rental and when I got there, I discovered that it didn't have a driver.

All that money and nothing to chauffeur it.

Chef's Salad

From CAW4HY

Everyone scoffed when I said I'd be a cook.

They're not scoffing now.

Preparation

From Farcus

FACT: 'Tapas' is Spanish for 'we're going to need more'.

So Much Food

From James Breakwell

Customer: I'll have the mouse please.

Waiter: That's mousse sir.

Customer: Never mind then, that'll be far too much food.

Diverse Opinions

 From JimBenton

I went to a restaurant where all the food was created using special effects.

It was CGI Fridays.

Doggy Bag?

From Scott Metzger

I arrived early at the restaurant last night.

The manager said, "Do you mind waiting for a bit?"

I said "Not at all".

He said "Great, take these drinks to table 7″

Animal Behaviour

From Bliss

From Bliss

From Bliss

From Bliss