Goldilocks Epilogue

From Wrong Hands

It's called 'Getting your guns out' because you have the right to bare arms.

Bear House

From The Argyle Sweater

A man is walking in the woods when he finds a suitcase.

He opens the suitcase and inside are three foxes.

So, he calls emergency services and says, "I just found three foxes in a suitcase. What should I do?"

"Well," the operator says, "Are they moving?"

"I don't know," he replied, "But if they were, that would explain the suitcase."

Bearly Together

From After Death Comics

Without a doubt my favourite Robin Williams film is Mrs Fire.

Safety First

From At Random Comics

Londoners can be really cruel.

I was in a butcher's shop earlier when a woman asked for a Panda Sausage!

Goldilocks Campfire Zone

From xkcd

There was a fire drill at IKEA today…

We all assembled in the car park!

Porridge Vans

From Andertoons

What does a man with a 2-foot penis have for breakfast?

Well, this morning I had porridge.

Sleeping Arrangements

From Abel B Brosaden

My pet bear's diarrhoea problems are beginning to worry me.

The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet.