Clown Babies

How warm is a baby at birth?

Womb temperature.

Shell Shock

From Speedbump

The maternity ward at the hospital . . .

. . . should really be called the emerge-ncy room.

Cute

From Liz Climo

The nurse told the parents of a newly born child, "You have a cute baby."

The smiling husband said, "I bet you say that to all new parents."

"No," she replied, "just to those whose babies really are good-looking."

The husband again asked "So what do you say to the others?"

The nurse replied, "The baby looks just like you."

Baby Pictures

From Dogs on the 4th

I went to visit a friend at the hospital and the only parking spot was at the C section.

I had to climb out of the car through the sunroof.

E-Section

From Rhymes With Orange

A midwife calls a doctor for some help.

"Doctor she's been in labour for 36 hours, we need to do a c section."

"Not so fast," says the doctor, "there's one more thing to try."

He goes to the obviously pained mother to be and says "what do you call maids in space."

After the woman gives him a blank stare the doctor says "Vacuum cleaners"

Upon hearing this joke the woman cringes so hard that she expels the healthy crying baby.

Relieved, the new mother says "Thank you doctor but that's the worst joke I ever heard."

The doctor smiled and said "the punchline sucks but the delivery was perfect."

Experienced

From Speedbump

When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a female's body.

Then I was born.

First Steps

From Speedbump

Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria of a mental hospital.

Midhusband

From Speedbump

Long Wait

From Faceless

No Longer Bouncy

From Cyanide & Happiness

From Cyanide & Happiness

Russian Maternity Ward

From Bizarro

Poodlius Ceasar

From Buni Comic

Things That Make You Red In The Face

Authoritative

From xkcd

Special Delivery

From AdrianaGameOver

Some Mammals Have It Easier Than Others

From Liz Climo

Goodbye

From LunarBaboon

Snow Children

From Bizarro

From Teddy Tietz

All Todays News

Birth Of The King

From Bizarro