Revolution

From Bill Boles

A police officer called the station on his radio.

"I need backup here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"Not yet. The floor's still wet!"

Mouse House

From Will McPhail

Petrol pumps are so much faster than they used to be.

It used to take me two minutes to reach fifty quid but now I can do it in 30 seconds.

Well done garages!

 -  Gary Delaney