Monopoly 2024 Edition

From Private Eye

Last week I walked through the street, in one of my old neighbourhoods, where the houses are numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB.

That was a trip down Memory Lane.

Aeroplane

From Cyanide & Happiness

I've designed an aeroplane made entirely from rubber, so if it crashed, it would bounce.

It's a boing 747

Deadly Games

From Wumo

Son: "Can I go on the Xbox?"

Me: "No it's too violent. You should play family games like I used to"

[30 years ago]

Me: "I think the professor was strangled in the library with a rope"

Fish Fun

From The Argyle Sweater

What, again?

You can't always be experiencing a higher volume of calls than normal.

That's not how averages work.

Life Skills

From The Perry Bible Fellowship

A Lieutenant stands on the edge of a high cliff with his troops. The lieutenant looks down and then points to a soldier.

-You there! Come here to the cliff edge, extend your right hand to the side and jump down.

The lieutenant watches as the soldier obeys his command and falls down. He commands the next soldier in line:

-You there! Come here to the edge, extend your left leg and your left arm forward and jump down.

Again, the lieutenant closely watches as the soldier falls, pauses for a moment to think and commands the next one in line.

-You there! Come here to the edge, lie down, lift your right leg up and roll down.

A General passing by notices what's going on and storms to the scene:

-Lieutenant Alexey! How many times do I have to tell you? You can't play Tetris at work.

Rural Monopoly

From Wrong Hands

Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been fairly concerned.

He has taken going to jail pretty hard. He is refusing all food, spitting and screaming at everyone and is threatening violence at anyone who comes near him. He has smeared the walls with his faeces and is refusing to wear any clothes.

As a family we are united in our decision not to play Monopoly with him ever again.

Fairground Toilets

From Sunny Street

At any one time a bowl of nuts on a bar will have 17 types of urine on them.

That's why they're called peanuts.

Playing Catch

From Cyanide & Happiness

Game Of Life

From Moderately Confused

Barry Needs To Work On His Game

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Virtual? Reality?

 

 

Tentacle Twister

 

From TheArgyleSweater

 

Honesty Game

From Dilbert

Step On A Crack

From Cyanide & Happiness

Tough Call

Tetris Hell

From xkcd

Fairly Safe

http://files.explosm.net/comics/Kris/five.png

From Cyanide & Happiness

Crane Game

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From Cyanide & Happiness

Predictable Player

From Liz Climo

Dumb Kid

A young boy enters a barbers shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”