My wife is threatening to kick me out of the house because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor.
More on this after the break.
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 March 2026
Thursday, 5 January 2023
Hair Raising Information
They say that sex is the best form of exercise there is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but how is two minutes and fifteen seconds every six months going to shift this beer belly?
Friday, 19 August 2022
Modern Children
BREAKING NEWS:
A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
Friday, 19 March 2021
News Puppy
A young lady goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner for her first meeting with the family and she is very, very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal, but after the broccoli soup starter, she begins to feel a little discomfort.
The pressure on her stomach is almost enough to make her eyes water and left with little alternative, she decides to relieve herself by letting out a little wind.
It wasn't loud, but everyone around the table definitely appeared to hear a little pffft.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked around for the family dog that had been snoozing beneath the table and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy?"
'Phew!' she immediately thought and allowed half a smile to cross her face.
But a couple of minutes later she felt the gas building up again, only this time she didn't hesitate and let out a much louder, longer rip.
Once again, her boyfriend's father immediately yelled at the dog, "Skippy???"
So once more she smiled slyly and thought, 'Yes. Thank goodness for Skippy.'
Yet just another couple of minutes went by before she let out the fart of all farts and didn't even bother to try and disguise it.
At that, her boyfriend's father stood up in disgust, looked at the dog and yelled, "Damn it, Skippy! Get away from that woman before she shits all over your head."
Monday, 13 April 2020
Feverish Times
I forgot to put my clock forward at the end of March and ended up being an hour late for absolutely nothing whatsoever.
Monday, 1 April 2019
Friday, 22 December 2017
Friday, 13 January 2017
Tuesday, 11 October 2016
Friday, 1 July 2016
Wednesday, 1 June 2016
Monday, 25 May 2015
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
Thursday, 12 July 2012
German Police Ban Man From Having A Gay Old Time
Motorist banned from driving Flintstones car on German roads
A motorist's bid to begin driving a replica of Fred Flintstone's footmobile has been foiled after German police ruled his Stone Age vehicle was too unsafe to take for a spin.
Sebastian Trager in his Flintstone mobile
It was a case of 'Yabba Dabba Don't' for Flintstones nut Sebastian Trager after police banned his custom built motor from German roads.
Featuring a wooden frame design and leopard print seat covers, engineer Trager built the model using the chassis of a Volkswagen Polo.
There's no need for Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble's pedal power however, with the modern adaptation of the Flintmobile boasting a 1.3 litre engine hidden under the front roller.
Trager's bid to make his vehicle legally roadworthy hit the skids after German police ruled that the vehicle was too unsafe to be driven on public roads.
'We copied every last detail. I work in car construction and love working with cars so it is perfectly safe,' explained Trager.
'But when we got the registration form section about the number of lights, windscreen washers and wipers, well, we don't even have a windscreen so we gave up.
'Instead we trailer it to shows and exhibitions for people to see and everyone seems to love it.'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)