Banking App

It's okay, they scan the serial numbers and make sure you can't deposit the same note more than once.

From xkcd

I walked out of Tesco yesterday and saw a woman crying her eyes out saying she'd lost all her holiday money.

I felt so bad for her that I gave her £50.

I don't usually do things like that but I was feeling generous as I'd just found 2 grand in the car park....

Honk

From The Far Side

I noticed a load of random items on my bank statement (size 80 shoes, a bicycle horn, a huge plastic flower).

I contacted my bank and apparently my card has been clowned.

Bank Teller

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

I've been having sex with a blind woman for the last three months.

The sex is great but it isn't easy.

Getting her husband's voice right was the hardest bit.

Back To Work

From Yaffle by Jeffrey Caulfield and Brian Ponshock

From Dilbert

From HeyBuddy

Give Me All My Money

Let's all show our appreciation for Yodel and Hermes drivers at this time by clapping on our doorsteps tomorrow sometime between 7am and 8pm.

Donation

From Dogs on the 4th

People Like Us - Bank Loan

A Blonde Walks Into A Bank In London And Asks For A Loan

 A blonde walks into a bank in London and asks for a loan.

She says she's going to Hong Kong on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the documentation and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's manager and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a £250,000 Mercedes as collateral against a £5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Mercedes into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the £5,000 and the interest, which comes to £15.41. The loan office says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow £5,000?" The blonde replies...
"Where else in London can I park my car for two weeks for only £15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"