Sin

From JimBenton

Jesus sacrificed his life for your sins . . .

. . . except he came back.

So, what did he really sacrifice?

His weekend?

Jesus sacrificed his weekend for your sins.

Unintended Consequences

From Liniers Cartoon

Jesus is standing in for St. Peter at the gates to Heaven when an old man approaches.

"Well, what have you done to deserve entry to Heaven?" asks Jesus.

"To be honest." replies the man, "I am merely a simple carpenter. It was my son who was truly great. Although he wasn't my biological son, his birth was miraculous; still I loved him very much. Later in life he went through many trials and transformations. He spread joy and his story is told all over the world even to this day."

Jesus looks at the man, with a tear in his eye, and says "Father?"

The man looks back and replies; "Pinocchio?"

Where's My Easter Egg

Why is bread the body of Christ?

Because he is risen.

Seating Plan

From The Argyle Sweater

You have to feel sorry for Jesus, not only was he crucified, but it was right at the start of a four day weekend.

Roll Away The Stone

From Reality Check

Why did Jesus move to China after his resurrection?

Because it was easter.

Bathtime

From Joseph Nowak

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Unsatisfying Life

And then he rose from the dead? I can barely get out of bed for work!

From smbc

Could anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle?

2 Across: "Where they nailed Jesus."

Unnatural

From Cyanide & Happiness

A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens were greeted by the pope.

Pope: What a great honour having the first sign of foreign life in the Universe visiting my humble home. Now, let me tell you about our saviour and king in heaven, Jesus Christ, who saved us all and we've been awaiting his return to us for around 2000 years.

Alien Leader: Jesus Christ you say? Long hair, beard, always in white clothes and is in his mid-thirties? Sure, we know this guy, he's a great guy! Whenever he visits us, he cures our sick, turns some water into wine, shows us his walking‑on‑water‑trick and then we throw a great party and serve him the choicest delicacies we have available. He pops by every 2 years or so. Anyway, you've been waiting for 2000 years you say; what is it you guys did to him?

Good, it's Friday

From Mark Lynch

I've been trying to give up making innuendos for Lent . . .

. . . and lately it's been getting really hard . . .

. . . but I think that I'm going to pull it off.

Bad Day At The Office

From Loose Parts

If Mary gave birth to baby Jesus and baby Jesus is the Lamb of God, did Mary have a little lamb?

Avoiding The Talk

From BerkeleyMews

I had a vasectomy so that my wife wouldn't get pregnant.

But it turns out that all it does is change the colour of your baby's hair.

Santa and Bunny

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

My mind is like my internet browser. 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Going Out

I just opened a coronavirus museum. It is closed until further notice.

Gathering Followers

 

 

Bath Time

Sowing and Reaping

 

From smbc

 

Where Would You Like To Go?

From smbc

 

Easter At Ikea

He Who Is Without Sin

From smbc

Jewish Mum