Hair Art

From Jonesy

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:

-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?

-Sure.

-It's pretty much worthless.

-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.

Hair BnB

From TheArgyleSweater

Yesterday I put a giant map of the world up on the kitchen wall and gave my wife a dart.

I told her wherever it lands is where we go on holiday next year.

It looks like we're going to be spending three weeks behind the fridge.

Efficiency

From Dinos and Comics

My grandma quietly changed her hair colour while taking a nap.

She dyed peacefully in her sleep.

Portraits

From JimBenton

I just got back from the barbers.

I had a number two all over.

He was livid.

Wax Work

From OffTheMark

I just spent ages waxing my car.

I’m still not quite sure how it gets so hairy.

Poohberty

From Looks Good On Paper

I was on holiday in Turkey and came across one of those Turkish Bath Houses.

They shave with a solid steel stone ground razor, snip out nose and ear hairs, wax off chest and back hair, pluck all the hairs of the crack of your bum and finish off with a moustache trim and alcohol rub.

Honestly, the wife's not looked so good in years.

Sticky Trap

From Safely Endangered

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!

Skills

From LunarBaboon

The wife's hair salon raised its prices and now she can either afford a haircut or a recolour, but not both.

Every visit is a do-or-dye situation.

At The End Of The Penguin Party

From Rhymes With Orange

My husband is going to a fancy dress party tonight.

For some reason he's decided to go as a Rastafarian and I'm doing his hair.

I'm dreading it.

Feline Rapunzel

From OffTheMark

There was an old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. That day, he called his children to a meeting…

 

He said, "Look at my hair. It used to be so magnificent, but it's completely gone now. My hair can't be saved. But look outside at the forest. It's such a lovely forest with so many trees, but sooner or later they'll all be cut down and this forest will look as bald as my hair."

 

"What I want you to do..." the man continued. "Is, every time a tree is cut down or dies, plant a new one in my memory. Tell your descendants to do the same. It shall be our family's duty to keep this forest strong."

 

And so, they did. Each time the forest lost a tree, the children replanted one, and so did their children, and their children after them. And for centuries, the forest remained as lush and pretty as it once was, all because of one man and his re-seeding heirline.

Hair Raising Information

From Liniers Cartoon

They say that sex is the best form of exercise there is.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but how is two minutes and fifteen seconds every six months going to shift this beer belly?

Weighty Hair

From smbc

I went to get my hair cut yesterday, but there were so many people in front of me.

After an hour the manager started to hand out sausages and burgers as an apology for the long wait.

It was the best barber queue ever.

The Old Normal

From Wrong Hands

Lockdown Hairstyles

From F Minus

I was waiting in the queue outside B&Q this morning when my mate called and asked how big the queue was. I said "The same size as the B".

Normal Side Effects Of A Long Quarantine

From LunarBaboon

From Walt Handelsman

Who would have thought that eight weeks of uncut hair would weigh a stone, but who am I to argue with the bathroom scales?

Living With Rapunzel

From Will McPhail

Disturbing Trends In Men's Hairstyles

From Bizarro

The Height Of Romance

From Bizarro

Mew-pay

 

From Bizarro

 

She Might Want To Check What Gear She's In As Well

 

From Bizarro