Steps

From Scott Johnston Cartoons

My ex-girlfriend used to say to me, “Every time you act like a child, we get one step closer to splitting up”.

And I used to say, “Are we nearly there yet?”

Santapede

From Looks Good On Paper

Just 2 more sleeps until blokes start shopping for that perfect gift.

Zimmmmmmer

From JimBenton

Did you hear about the centipede that was dying of old age?

He was on his last legs.