Christmas 2035

I seem to be addicted to cold turkey.

Does anyone know how I can stop?

Missing Chocolate

From Jonesy

"My mate has a Quality Street chocolate stuck in his windpipe."

"The purple one?"

"Yes, that's him."

Business Is Blooming

From Loading Artist

Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.

It was just After Eight, and they got off at Quality Street.

He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said with a Wispa.

I'm Marathon, "the one with the nuts" he replied.

He touched her Cream Eggs which was a Kinder Surprise for her.

Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.

He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

Soon they were Heart Throbs.

It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.

But three days later his Shebert Dip Dab started to itch.

Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he had Allsorts.

Countdown

From Matt

Q: What have hairdressers, gyms and the tub of Quality Street in your mum's kitchen cupboard got in common?

A: None of them are allowed to be opened until December.