Mix Up

From Rhymes With Orange

Breaking News

Tampax have announced that they'll be replacing the strings with tinsel.

But, just for the Christmas period.

Presents

Actually, Frankincense was the name of the perfume's creator.

Hang In There Fellas, Not Long Now

On Christmas Eve last year I told my wife I was popping to the shops.

She said, "While you're there, can you get some fairy liquid, detergent and some dishwasher tablets.

I said, "Can't you wait till tomorrow when you open your presents?"

Wrapping Paper

From xkcd

I've decided to form a choir for this Christmas.

So far, it's just Dean, Don, Mary, Lee and I.

Pet Pranks

From Bliss

I managed to get all my Christmas shopping done this morning.

I hope that everyone likes Halloween costumes.

Harsh Economics Lesson

From Wumo

I've just got the wife's Christmas present.

I hope that it's one that she likes.

It's called Tester.

Christmas Tree(ts)

From Safely Endangered

Regifting

From Portsherry

I think it's time I told everyone a little bit about myself.

As many of you will know, I used to be a harpist.

I'm not going to brag, but I could play the harp brilliantly.

I worked in an orchestra and after one of our concerts I met this amazing woman.

I grew to absolutely adore this girl, and would do anything for her.

But this is a story about how it all went wrong.

 

My harp was immaculate, 17th century, with ornate carvings, and it was my pride and joy,

It was worth a great deal of money; a lot more than most people would believe.

But my girl knew, because I would play her to sleep with it every night.

She also loved the harp, and to show her how much I loved her, I decided to give it to her as a Christmas present last year.

 

Unfortunately, our relationship was not to last.

On boxing day, the day after I gifted to her something so important to me, I found out she didn't really love me and she sold it in an online auction.

I was devastated, and had to end it with her.............

 

'Last Christmas I gave her my harp, but the very next day, it was sold on eBay'

Why Christmas Is In Winter

What present did the the boy with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.

Unwrapping

From The Argyle Sweater

TOP TIP

Wrap some empty boxes up in wrapping paper and place them beneath the Christmas tree.

Then, every time one of your children starts playing up, throw one on to the fire.

(NB: a box, not a child)

Ugg-Ly Present

From TheArgyleSweater

Three Of A Kind

Buni Christmas

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

He's Gonna Find Out Who's Naughty Or Nice

From smbc

Inadequate Gifting

From Bizarro

Elf Redundancy

From Bizarro