Remote

From Junk Drawer

I was amazed the first time I saw a universal remote

I thought to myself, "This changes everything!"

World's Best Croissant

From Junk Drawer

A Frenchman sees a poster in front of a bakery: Croissant €1. Handjob €5

He enters the shop and sees a gorgeous young lady behind the counter.

He asks her: "Mademoiselle, are you the one that delivers the handjobs?"

Very shy, the girl looks down, blushes and replies with a giggle: "O-Oui monsieur, I am the one that gives the handjobs".

The Frenchman immediately puts €5 on the counter and says: "In that case wash your hands well, because I want 5 croissants"

Small Safari

From Junk Drawer

I popped into a department store yesterday and I learned that make-up assistants do not like it when you climb up on the stool and ask for a tiger.

In The Beginning

From Junk Drawer

I think my wife's started to show the first signs of Alzheimer's.

She said she can't remember what she ever saw in me.

Good Boy Quiz

From Junk Drawer

I kind of regret not taking the time to learn French when I was young.

Ah well, such is life.