Brrrr!

From JimBenton

Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose!

The Pounds Just Melt Off

From Reality Check

Banks need to get better at re-stocking their ATMs before Christmas.

This is the 5th one I've been to that has insufficient funds.

Snowtograph

From Speedbump

During the Covid lockdown, if you had family round on Christmas Day, police could force entry to your home and make them go home.

Does anyone know if this service is still available, and if you have to book?

If You Liked These . . .

From Reality Check

It's officially the season where you've got to ask your mum whether you're allowed to eat food or if it's for Christmas.

Volunteer?

From Bizarro

I got a Jehovah's Witness advent calendar this year.

Behind every door is someone telling you to go away and leave them alone.

Snowman Clothing

From Loose Parts

I got home today and all the doors were wide open and everything was gone.

What sort of person does a thing like that to someone else's advent calendar?

Heat Loss

From Speedbump

I've decided to form a group choir for Christmas.

Anyone wanting to join will be welcome.

So far, it's just Dean, Don, Mary, Lee and I.

Face Lift

From The Argyle Sweater

Aldi are selling reindeer steaks this Christmas.

Not to be outdone, one of their rivals has started selling Lidl Donkey.

Risky Date

From OffTheMark

What do we want?

An end to all organised religion.

When do we want it?

After Christmas.

Public Display of Affection

Why do native Americans hate snow?

It's white and all over their land.

Picking

What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

The Snowman and The Snowdog

What do you call friendly frozen water?

A nice cube.

Brrr...

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a brick?

A brrrick.

Hot Chocolate

How did the hipster burn his mouth from hot chocolate?

He drank it before it was cool.

Hot Tub

We're Looking For Someone

From JimBenton

"What do we want?"

"The end of religious brainwashing."

"When do we want it?"

"After Christmas."

Horror Film 6

From OffTheMark

Eye Doctor

From OffTheMark

Frosty The Thawman

From Foxtrot

Magic Hat

From smbc