End Of Life

From Buni Comic

I’m sad to report my nan’s clothes horse has broken beyond repair after 60 years.

It's the end of an airer!

Emotional Rescue

From Buni Comic

I just had an Adam Ant ice cream.

Nothing special, just standard vanilla.

Rise And Shine

From Buni Comic

I always keep an empty milk bottle in my fridge, just in case someone wants a black coffee.

Bonus

From Buni Comic

I am on a diet and my friend asked me how it's going.

"Not good", I said, "I had eggs for breakfast."

"Fried?" He asked.

"Chocolate!" I replied.

You're Toast Mate

From Buni Comic

My wife was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

Neglect

From Buni Comic

What's green and not very heavy?

Light green.

Rejuvenation

From Buni Comic

Stealing clothes from washing lines.

Been there, done that, got the tee shirt.

Watching

From Buni Comic

People at work say I'm nosey and always listening in to private conversations.

I just wish they'd have the guts to say it to my face.

Christmas Tree-t

From Buni Comic

'Tis the season where we say 'tis instead of it's.

Pumpkin Piercings

From Buni Comic

I can't believe that I nearly forgot about All Saints' Day.

Never ever have I ever felt so low.

Flow

From Buni Comic

I recently bought a toilet brush.

To cut a long story short, I'm going back to toilet paper!

Misfit

From Buni Comic

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.

Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie.

Carrot Juice

From Buni Comic

As a man is walking his pet carrot it gets hit by a car.

After rushing to the hospital, the man paces the waiting room until the doctor comes out exhausted from surgery.

"Doctor, is my carrot alive, is it ok?"

The doctor sighs. "I have good news and bad news. The good news is your pet carrot is alive".

The man breathes a sigh of relief. "What's the bad news doctor?"

The doctor looks him in the eyes and says, "Well I'm sorry but it's going be a vegetable for the rest of its life."

New Home

From Buni Comic

What do you call a bird at the North Pole?

A Brrrrrrrrd.

Invitation

From Buni Comic

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2 o'clock this morning but I didn't bother letting him in.

I mean, what person in their right mind turns up to a party wearing a dressing gown and slippers?

The King Is Dead

From Buni Comic

Some scumbags have nicked a tree from our garden.

It doesn't look right now there's a gap where the tree should be.

Bring back the birch, that's what I say.

Birth-Day

From Buni Comic
 

Winning Hand

From Buni Comic

Did you hear that Boney M have updated their Christmas hit, Mary's Boy Child, to make it more in keeping with modern sensibilities?

It's called Their They Child!

Next Episode

From Buni Comic

This morning my neighbour complained that I invade his personal space.

I was so upset by his comment that it completely ruined our bath!

The Ascent Of Pig

From Buni Comic

I walked into a place called Hotel California the other day and ordered a Carsebridge 52 Year Old whisky on the rocks.

The barman looked at me confused and said "We haven't had that spirit here since 1969".