I.D. Parade

From Jeff Hobbs

If you identify a UFO then it becomes an FO.

Unless it has landed: then it is simply an O.

Flying Saucer Arrival

From Joseph Nowak

I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector earlier today.

The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy!

Unnatural

From Cyanide & Happiness

A UFO landed in the Vatican and the friendly Aliens were greeted by the pope.

Pope: What a great honour having the first sign of foreign life in the Universe visiting my humble home. Now, let me tell you about our saviour and king in heaven, Jesus Christ, who saved us all and we've been awaiting his return to us for around 2000 years.

Alien Leader: Jesus Christ you say? Long hair, beard, always in white clothes and is in his mid-thirties? Sure, we know this guy, he's a great guy! Whenever he visits us, he cures our sick, turns some water into wine, shows us his walking‑on‑water‑trick and then we throw a great party and serve him the choicest delicacies we have available. He pops by every 2 years or so. Anyway, you've been waiting for 2000 years you say; what is it you guys did to him?