Coming Clean

From JimBenton

How come fish smell?

They spend their whole lives taking a bath.

World Famous Lingerie Model?

From JimBenton

So, here's some information you might not know.

Alan Price, the musician, is heavier than Vincent Price, the actor.

Whilst Vincent Price is heavier than Katie Price, the model.

And do you know how I know this?

I looked it up on a price comparison website.

Dating A Model

From Jon Adams / Cityclops

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.

As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.

Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop-dead gorgeous woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.

She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

"Ten years," replies the stunned man.

With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.

He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!"

"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of whisky?" she asks him.

Trembling, the castaway replies: "Ten years."

She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.

He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "Wow, that's absolutely fantastic!"

At this point, she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"

With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there."

Supercop

From Bizarro

I was in Tesco and saw a bloke from Crimewatch who is wanted for several rapes.

I tackled him to the ground and punched him unconscious.

But when the police arrived, they arrested me instead of him...

Apparently, they use actors on the show!

Quick Off The Mark

Together we can flatten the curve:

From Javi Salado

I can't believe the government are relying on models to forecast the pandemic, they should ask scientists instead, they're not as pretty but they know a lot more.

Still Life

 

From The Perry Bible Fellowship

Unusual Model

From Coral's Bridal