All A-Bored

From Monster Picnic

Boss: This is the third time you've been late this week. Do you know what that means?

Me: It's Wednesday?

Liking It Ruff

From Monster Picnic

I silently farted in bed last night and slowly lifted up the duvet.

After a few seconds my wife shouted, "What is up with you, that really stinks!"

It must have been pretty bad; she was downstairs at the time!

When You Assume

From Monster Picnic

If shoelaces always come undone and headphones always tangle, why don't we use headphones for shoelaces and shoelaces for headphone wire?

Picnic

From Monster Picnic

What did the mother Llama say to her llama children as they prepared for a picnic?

Alpaca lunch.

Ruff Role Play

From Monster Picnic

My wife loves doggy style.

I sit up and beg. She rolls over and plays dead.