It's 'Round Here Somewhere

From Bliss

My son: Dad, I’ve lost my dictionary.

Me: Have you looked upstairs?

My son: Dad! I can’t look up anything.

Lost Property

From Leigh Rubin

I found thousands of letters in my letterbox this morning.

That's the last time I order a dictionary from IKEA.

Proactive

From JimBenton

I tried reading the dictionary in bed last night.

I didn't finish it.

I got up to p.

How Many Languages Do You Speak?

From F Minus

From Will McPhail

Wife: "I had a crazy dream last night"

Me: "I taught the dog to speak"

Wife: "No, that wasn't it"

Dog: "Wasn't what?"

Plethora

From TheArgyleSweater